so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
