This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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