sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
