We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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