that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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