Pappa wants mamma naked
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
