In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize