There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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