You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
