i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
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Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I will pee on everything he values.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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