i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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