Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
