I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
