It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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