I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
