The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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