Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
