my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You can't motorboat a personality
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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