you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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