if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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