I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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