Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
