We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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