Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
