have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
