I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
that may or may not have been my penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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