Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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