His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
