Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
