At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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