I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
