I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
