I want to make a zoo with you.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
