haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
