my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
