i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
