she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
