ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.