...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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