bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
