Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
