So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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