two words: eviction party
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
