dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize