No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
