using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
