Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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