It's Friday. Sex?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
