I wish I could teleport
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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