we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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