wakey wakey hands off snakey
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
