yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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