He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize