only you would photoshop your dick
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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