Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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