OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
