don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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