We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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